EDDIEWONG

The weather in Tokyo has been truly terrific recently. Well, today is actually pretty windy but the sun is shining and the temperature is great. After going to the supermarket, on my way back, I decided to take the route that leads to the mini garden where I often chilled out with Ulala on nice days. As you can see, more flowers have grown and its pretty dense now compared with last month when I was here with Ulala last. Ulala would be estatic to see all these flowers – he’d probably trample all over them.

Its close to a month since I’ve lost the little guy yet there hasn’t been a day that I didn’t think about him. I wonder how long this will continue. I sometimes think, If I didn’t leave him by himself the night before, he may still be here. Three months ago when he also had diarrhea, I was warned by some bunny owners (at some bunny community I joined) that I must make sure Ulala is force feed water often to avoid dehydration – something I totally forgot about last month. I put Ulala away at 3am the night before then at 10:30am he came out to me while I was in bed. He didn’t quite make the journey to where I was in one shot: I heard him topple over once, had a few seconds rest, then got up and walked again. That was when I finally realised, oh no. When I finally got him to the vets, the vet told me he is dehydrated and his survival rate does not seem too good. I really can’t help but think: If I didn’t abandon him from between 3am-10am, if I continued to feed water to him every hour or two, I believe he would still be here.

He passed away in my arms within 40 mins after getting him home from the vets. He had 2 spasms and was gasping for breathe during his final moments. Watching him like this, it felt like it went on for an eternity. I held him close, spoke to him, comforted him.

You know, it may sound weird or even freaky, but I believe Ulala was aware of the situation. I really believe he dragged himself out that morning so he could see me for the last time. When I left him at the vets, he looked at me with very sad eyes. When I got him home, I held him close without saying a word for like 30 mins. Then I decided to thank him for everything, how happy I was having him around, that he will forever be missed, etc., etc. And it was right after I finished what I needed to say, he slowly left for the rainbow. Seriously, it really was like he was hanging on waiting to hear something from me and after I spoke, he felt relieved and decided to leave. Maybe I’m wrong but I really believe that is the case.

Ulala’s ashes are still here with me. I offer the little guy a prayer everyday when I wake up along with the burning of incense. I occasionally talk to him too. Once 49 days is up, I’ll have to find somewhere nice to place him (a Japanese belief thing)…

It doesn’t matter if its a dog, a cat, a bunny, etc., that you own. If you loved them dearly, they will know it and love you the same. And when their time comes, they are just as sad to leave you as you are to see them leave… I know this.